Evie is three years and 3 months old. I might have mentioned that I am finding three to be a….
People often refer to the “Terrible Twos”, but that’s a major misnomer. The thing about two is, they’re still babies. Still cute, still inarticulate, and still someone malleable.
Three, on the other hand, has an opinion, has attitude, and has vocabulary (some more than others, admittedly).
So, I thought I’d take this opportunity to share some of the more, erm, precious recent exchanges between my little 3-year-old monster and me.
While driving down the freeway:
E: Mommeeeeee, I’m hungry. I want a banana!
Me: Evie, I can’t reach you back there right now, you’ll have to wait.
E: No Mommy. You stop the car. You stop the car right now, then you get out, and you come to me. Stop the car, mommy!
Me: EVIE!! You are so bossy!
E: Noooooo, I’m not bossy, I’m Evie Pepper!
Today, at lunchtime:
E: Mommy, I’m hungry.
Me: OK, Evie, what would you like for lunch? Would you like scrambled eggs?
E: No, I want bumble bee eggs.
Me: Bumble bee eggs? What are those?
E: Bumble bee eggs. Bees make honey, mommy. Flowers make honey. I want bumble bee eggs.
Whilst driving home one day…
Me: Evie, is the baby asleep?
E: No Mommy, he’s not a baby, he’s a big boy. You say “is the big boy asleep”!!
Me: Oh, sorry Evie, is the big boy asleep?
E: No, Mommy.
Me: Is he awake?
E: No, Mommy.
Me: (thinking “OMG, what then, is he DEAD?!”) Well, Evie, what is he?
E: He’s a BIG BOY, Mommy!!!
And then, of course, my favourite:
Me: Evie? Evie!?!? Evie, where are you?
E: Mommy, why you calling me?
Me: Because I wanted to know where you are!
E: But why, mommy?
Me: Because, I need to know you’re safe?
E: But, but, but, but why you saying that, mommy?
Me: Because you ran away before, Evie. I need to make sure you’re close to me.
E: Why, mommy?
Me: Because I say so, Evie?
E: But, why you say so, Mommy?
And so on, ad infinitum….
And finally, while we were all outside playing, and I glanced up to see Evie running around in the nudie:
Me: EVIE!!! Why are you naked? Where are your pants?
E: I did wee wee, mommy!
Me: Where did you go wee, Evie?
E: (very proudly) I did wee wee in the garden, like Milo!
Me: Argh!! Evie, don’t DO that, you have to wee in the toilet, OK?
E: OK, Mommy. <pause>. I did poo poo, too!
Me: WHAT? Evie!!! Where did you do a poo? Show me!
E: Right here, Mommy. Here, look!
Me: Where? I can’t see it?
E: RIGHT HERE, Mommy. See? Milo ate it!
Four is a breeze, I hear. Only 9 and a half months to go…. they call it Fabulous Four, right?