Tick, Follows Tock, Follows Tick…

When we received our appointment for our biometrics tests, I was so excited.  Everyone I know who has recently been through the same process told me that they received their EAD (employment authorisation) within 1 – 2 weeks of putting inky fingers to paper and smiling for the Homeland Security camera.

Perhaps a little prematurely, I admit, I started putting feelers out.  I may have initiated “return to work” discussions with my former manager, telling her that I fully expected to be available by the end of the month.  The month of August, that is.

NINE freaking WEEKS later, and there is still nothing more than the latest Victoria’s Secret catalogue in my mailbox today.  Maybe if I was a 14 year old boy, then this would be a thrilling day indeed.  For me?  Not so much…

Each day that passes, I feel a little more despondent.  It’s silly, I know – particularly as I still change my mind every 5 minutes regarding whether I really want to return to full time employment. You might say that my decision is heavily influenced by changes as quickly as the moods of my dear, darling children.   When they are good, they are very, very sweet.  When they are bad, I hit LinkedIn.

Got any jobs going?

Got any jobs going?

The more time that passes, the more questions are raised in my mind.  Is it a sign?  Will that amazing job that’s been posted for the last 5 months, and is perfect for me, slip through my fingers at the last minute?  Should I see this as an opportunity for a total career change?  I’ve even, on my darker days, started considering a dual personal training / dog-walking business.   Hey, it would get me out of the house, right?  I could exercise the dogs whilst I run my PT clients ragged – everybody wins!

Ahem.

In the meantime, I’ve been obsessively vigilantly checking the USCIS Green Card Tracking website.  Those cursed blue dots which haunt my dreams.     OK, so maybe I’m being a little dramatic, but I still did a little happy dance when this happened yesterday:

Whoop!

Whoop!

Strictly speaking, the blasted blue dot has not actually moved in the last month (thanks, Government shutdown.  You rock!).    BUT, look closely.   No, closer than that.  Squint and you’ll miss it.    “You should expect to received a written decision or written update within 60 days….”.

60 days.  2 months from 21st October.  Which would bring us to…20th December 2013.   Wouldn’t that be a lovely Christmas pressie?  Incidentally, dear husband, this does not mean you’re off the hook.

Who knows when the EAD will actually come through.  Some day between now and then.   I have absolutely no idea what I will do when it does, either – jump for joy, or start to really panic?  The point is, I will finally have a choice.  I’ve always been fiercely, maddeningly independent, so the last 2 years of being unable to have my own bank account, or even say an enthusiastic “Yes please!” when offered the Gap store card and that tempting 5% off, have been pretty tough.   Finally, I’m going to be a real person again – and I’ll have the Social Security Number to prove it.  Hurrah!

60 more days of driving you all crazy with my whining.  What the hell will we all do if “Computer says no!”?

Patience: A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.
~Ambrose Bierce

Tick, follows tock, follows tick…

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