A friend of mine posted this link on Facebook the other day, “20 Of The Weirdest Things About America That Americans Don’t Realize Are Weird“. Interestingly, they still spelled it “realize”.
It’s true, I’m afraid. All of it. Tipping alone deserves a blog post all of its own. And it’s not like there is even a rule that everyone follows. We forgot to give the milkman a Christmas tip last year, and in the following delivery, every single one of our dozen eggs was broken. In the 10 preceding months, we had never had a single crack, so it seems a tad unlikely to be pure coincidence. Yet, when I shame-facedly admitted to an American friend that I had forgotten the tip, she exclaimed “Wait? You tip the milkman? Wow – I didn’t know that was a thing!”. Don’t even get me started on hairdressers, garbage truck drivers and even the lady who waxes your nether regions. What if you forget to tip her? Who knows what untold damage could be done on your next visit. There are some instances when being cheap definitely doesn’t pay, and a de-fuzzing trip to the beauty salon would definitely be one of those occasions.
Bread does taste like it’s been sprinkled with icing sugar, and it never goes mouldy. What is with that? Why doesn’t my bread grow green hair here? Whilst mightily convenient, admittedly, I still don’t trust it!
Although I think that list was pretty spot on, I do think the author missed a pretty major point. You guys don’t half mix some bizarre-o combinations when it comes to food!! Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (did anyone outside of the US realise that a PB&J usually involves grape flavoured jam? Do we even have grape jam in the UK?) is one thing, but sweet potatoes and marshmallows? Biscuits and gravy? Bacon and maple syrup!?! Scratch that – bacon DONUTS!!?! What the…..?
Yesterday, though, I saw something that I think trumps any of that. Honestly, I can’t quite get my head around it:
You what, now? Not just chicken and waffles, but chicken and waffle flavoured crisps. And look at that picture! We’re talking deep fried chicken, alongside waffles smothered in butter and maple syrup. Like….just…..I can’t….. but….whyyyyy? Who was it that sat there in that food lab, scratching their head whilst searching desperately for new and exciting flavour combinations, before suddenly leaping up in glee, declaring “By golly gosh, I’ve got it!!” and lining up to eagerly claim his bonus? Or, more to the point, which insane creature agreed with them?
I love you America, and one day I might even come to enjoy your candied yams and caramel-loaded coffees, but honestly, just because something is different and unexpected (and never goes stale), that doesn’t necessarily make it good.
On other news, today I actually managed to get out for another run, after a niggle in my hips last week had me thinking my prego running days might be over. It was only when I was out in the beautiful 70 degree sunshine, hitting the lakeside trail and chatting up a storm with my fellow running mom that I realised quite how much I had really missed it, and how unready I am to give it up. Here’s hoping that Daisy and I can keep it up for a little longer – running (even if it is more of an ungainly shuffle than anything else these days!) keeps me sane, and I think there is enough crazy in our future for me to want to keep this up as long as humanly possible.